What if I were one of those taken?

Found this in my "Drafts" folder, an expansion of a suddenly not-so-recent FB comment...

When the time of The Rapture came and went, social media sites were loaded with comments, tweets, etc, including one by yours truly. I played it from the perspective of one who was taken, as unlikely as that may seem to some. In response to a comment asking what it was like, I offered some thoughts, silly and perhaps hopeful. Here, I expand on that.

Where do I begin?

The skiing consists of constant perfect bluebird powder days, with no lift lines, wind holds, and especially no snowboarders. Each day starts with a fat breakfast, followed by an easy trip to the slopes--it's ski-in/ski-out, of course. A pint or two at apres ski is followed by a requisite soak in the hot tub. Hey, even up here, muscles get achy after a proper day of skiing. A nice dinner and then a few more pints round out the day.

In golf, I haven’t missed a fairway yet, nor a green in regulation, and suddenly my putting is perfect.

The baseball is just like Field of Dreams, and you never know who is going to take the field each game. Just a short time ago, I saw Ted Williams batting against Walter Johnson. The Splendid Splinter couldn’t get a hit, and the Big Train couldn’t put Williams away. I think Williams ended up fouling off about 50 or 60 pitches before laughing and letting someone else take some hacks.

In football, the Giants and Jets never play each other, and of course win every weekend. Meanwhile, the Cowboys naturally lose every single Sunday.

Then there’s the music; oh, the music—they’re all here! Hank Williams, Roy Orbison, Duane Allman, John Lennon...All of them! A few of them sat down together and started to jam, even playing Wyld Stallyns one big hit. It was most excellent stuff.

The beer is always served at the perfect temperature, and it isn't available in cans. It's predominantly hoppy ales, but a few lagers made it in.

Every meal is served with crispy bacon. Not the lean stuff, just the good stuff...

Anyway, I could go on quite a bit with this, but probably best to just post it already to (1) discourage me from rambling further and (2) not blow my chances in October... :)


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